ready to fly?

i'm realizing through therapy and continued exposure to life, how confined my soul is. with superactive superego and hidden id, i ride like a real wholesome nut.
clean cut all american gal. never drunk, never high, never promiscuous, faithful church goer, front row student, don't ruffle anyone's feathers, follow the rules kind of woman.

but you know, there is decidely more to me. i know this because under my superficial smile and my calm demeanor, lie a whole host of other feelings and thoughts. some days i feel angry and misunderstood. sometimes when among my own people i feel a foreigner. like all humanity, from time to time, i fantasize about things better left alone. basically there is a voice inside that hasn't been allowed out.

it's taken me awhile to awaken to this hidden self. in fact, i am still pretty fearful of what i might find underneath.

in the film, the family stone, that we saw over the pacific ocean the statement that resonated with me is "you have the freak flag, you just don't fly it."