needing taught

you know - - - today i'm just antsy. my pea brain is too full of psychotherapeutic interventions, new faces, names paperwork and diagnoses. these new items are just barely fitting.

next to me are some complex textbooks that need to be added to the mix. and quick. i'm a week late. somehow i must absorb, process, digest, and later perform all this. heavy. too heavy.

last night at emanuel was hard, i felt less confident and more stupid. wanting to learn but lacking a teacher. there is great value in someone who can go beyond profiency in their own work and extend patience and lessons to others nearby.

i'm late in getting a preceptor this term. don't know where i'll be and what i'll learn one day a week. i hear it may be with st. vincent's eating disorders clinic--which would be a real find.

i'm online only for psychopharmacotherapeutics. learning drugs, mechanism of action, and prescriptives all on my own with a book and a computer.

i think i better start over with the plan of just "doing what i can." i thank God for being a faithful rabbi who doesn't have excessive demands and whose yoke is easy. teach me Creator how to be who i am in the moment and give up my worries for peace.