our zoo is mean

now that we have three animals in 900 square feet, and one of them is a huge 90 lb golden, we realize we really have our own zoo. each morning at 6:30 a.m. regardless of when we've gone to bed, our "zoo" arises and sings the pet equivalent of "good morning, good morning, good morning, its time to rise and shine!" cleo mews incessantly outside our door. simon wiggles and wags around the room, sniffing for socks or other small items of clothing (that will remain unnamed) to carry around in his mouth. before long, even tried and true Ru joins in and guess what? we're all up.

our zoo is mean . . .

nursing

You know, up until 5 years ago, I never considered a career as a nurse. My grandmother was a nurse, and I knew it was a "smart woman's" career choice in her generation, but my picture of nursing had been overweight, underpaid, co-dependent middle-aged women. As a young justice-focused career woman, I never considered nursing. But you know what---I got to know some nurses I really admired. They were mature, brilliant, caring, advanced practice nurses. I saw their work as impactful . . . So I went to nursing school. What I found was yes--some nurses are petty, overweight, and have poor boundaries--but most were amazing pioneers who used their heart and head to have real impact in patient lives and even in systems. I have found that nursing can have a huge impact in the quest for equality in healthcare, team approach with MDs, and voice for people at their most vulnerable. I'd love to see a prime-time show about nursing school and the experience of the evolving nursing profession.

served by samaritans

Here in Portland I have been served by many. I thought I was the one with "it" together, with a cause, a call and something to give. But God shows me otherwise by having Samaritans give to me.

Tom & David, who are HIV+, giving us the loaf of bread, inviting us to the Christmas party, wanting to talk about faith with us.

My athiest, pro-choice, "christian hating" nursing school preceptor giving me a book about Helping Others, because she saw me having compassion on people.

My solid listener at school is a beautiful "out" lesbian woman. Her partner wanting to talk God with us and dance with us.

My friend picking me up EVERY week for class, expecting nothing in return.

A Russian gay man sharing his love life and budding spirituality with me. "Is that silly that I prayed for a boyfriend?" he asks. How can prayer ever be silly I think.

A former sex worker giving up Friday night to hand out needles to prevent people from suffering further for their addictions.

What will next term of school hold? Who will rescue me from the side of the road this time?

faithful

you know its funny what one can accomplish by just being faithful. i have learned again and again that slow and steady finishes the race. often, it seems to make more sense to rumble along, then speed up, get distracted by something in the road, then put on the brakes. faster . . . faster . . . faster. . . . got. to. catch. up. oh wait, now we are here. whoops no, i'm late.

how about just going the speed limit, coasting down the hills, expecting something good on the other side of the dark tunnel?

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Nicolas

Most of you know about the sweet little boy who has captured my heart. We had a genuinely great time with him in Pendleton this last weekend. I love his laughter and how he picks up on our "family language" and tells Simon that he "just the most precious thing. . . you are so little--you can't help it." I love his freckles and rumply dark course hair. I love to listen to him sing in the bathroom and fart in the bathtub.

We played hide and go seek outside. We climbed a rock. We ate shrimp, steak, and too much candy in the movie. We wrestled dogs. Played tag in the swimming pool. Blocked the bubbles on the hot tub. We saw the beautiful Blue Mountains.
CV reminded him over and over to hold still and not run into the street. Nick made rustly sounds for an hour in bed trying to go to sleep.

He is happy, healthier, and stable. For that I am so thankful to God. Thanks for Eastern Oregon Multi-Treatment, his foster parents, and for a chance to just enjoy Nick.

And even more, his new caseworker, Brenda, is amazing. What a go getter and she is so responsive. Our God is faithful to complete what he starts.

out of debt

one of the things that we often create for ourselves is debt. debt financially, debt relationally, and debt spiritually. we overspend, take people for granted, and neglect our soul. this leaves us feeling empty. no---more than empty---overdrawn.

the truth is we don't need much. we don't need cable, internet, cell phones, cars, bigger houses, or stylish clothes. we don't need more entertainment or fancy activities, we need more connection with others. we don't need to be busier or have more distractions, or even a 'dynamic worship experience'--we need genuine time with Christ and in Christian community.

this has been brought to my attention during lent. as i realize that our checking account is overdrawn, we grow in our debt. i realize that i take my incredible husband for granted and focus more on tasks. i live in the "i'll do it tomorrow" mentality, adding more and more weight on the future.

i'm wondering if all this is challenging enough that i might want to change . . .

lovely day

its a gorgeous 60 degree day here in portland and so nice to have the windows open. cv and i cleaned the house today, ran some errands, and ate a yummy hamburger at Kennedy School. now I'm watching my pathophys class online. pretty cool that i can do that!

we cought my cat a new bed and some balls today. also some more lo-cal food. we are hoping that she will eventually loose some weight.

later today, cv and i plan to ride our bikes across the broadway bridge and over on the west side.

alone time

today was a mental health day (plus I have a nasty cough). i really enjoyed the chance to just be alone, relax, and rethink some things. its a blessing to have space to do this.

i feel so covered by vibrant right now. God has sent amazing, complex genuine people to walk together. we are all colorful, scattered at times, and yet safe together. i pray we will continue to grow into something even more vibrant and beautiful as time goes by.

i am actually liking my time on myspace. seeing where folks are at and hearing their music is the best.

day off pursuits:
brushing my doggles. . .watching lisa loeb & fruitless soaps . . .praying for peace
washing ashes off my forehead. . . calling and interviewing counselors. . .talking to mr. nicolas . . .drinking lots of grody airborne . . .eating too much vanilla ice cream . . . kissing my hubby goodbye when he goes snoboarding w t-Roy